Homesickness sucks and a book update.

My head has been in a fuzz for weeks, it feels like I’ve felt overwhelmed by everything lately and I think I’ve figured out why. I’ve been so homesick. As I write this I’m watching 15 minute long YouTube videos in which some guy has strapped his camera on to his scooter and films himself riding it around the roads of Jersey with some crappy background music. And I’m crying my eyes out. Every landmark, every building, every road, in fact every corner is bringing back memories of some dearly loved friends. I miss them all so much.

I moved to the UK almost three years ago now and I came here for only one reason, to answer the question of whether transition was right for me. I knew all too well what the tiny island’s gossip grapevine thought of trans women and well, the grass is always greener… I used to hate making plans but I reckoned that transition would take two years, three tops, but then the thing with the cameras and the meeting of some new friends who completely changed my perspective on everything about life happened, and now I’m sitting here drying the tears from my cheeks facing a completely new reality and a stark choice. Do I go or do I stay (now)?

My sudden realisation came after about an hour of scooter guy, I can’t go home. Beyond the practicalities of where I am going to live and how to earn enough to live, I have things I want to achieve over here in the UK. Fox and I are about to release our book, Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl? (That’s an official announcement, I guess!) Trans* Pride is something I’m immensely proud of helping create, all the other things I love doing would be be impossible to do if I have to get on a plane to make appointments, I find it hard enough to be on time as it is!

Times change and I have to accept that a permanent return to Jersey just isn’t realistic for another few years and who knows what I’ll be doing then so I’m gonna have to focus on what I want in the short to medium term. For now I need to make sure this book goes well, I need to be at my best and in an ideal world I need a holiday back home.

Very soon Fox and I will be asking you to pre-order and invest in us and our idea of a children’s book introducing a character whose gender is left for the reader to decide. We’ve decided to use the Kickstarter.com crowd funding platform and have total control over the marketing and production process so we are about to ask for your help for the initial printing costs. Details are still being finalised but I really believe the time is right for an idea like this, this will hopefully be the first in a series of books which inspires a generation of children and families to talk more about gender and what it means to each individual. I am really excited about what the next few months hold.

Tomorrow is another day.

12 thoughts on “Homesickness sucks and a book update.

  1. Sarah iv followed u since the program and truly think ur an amazing person as we have had very personal conversations. I think the book will be fantastic for ppl in the near future, who else wud be more appropriate to write create such a thing than u n fox both gorge ppl n wish u luck xxx

  2. but everyone's experience of Jersey is different and a sweeping statement about what 'people' in Jersey thinks of trans women is a little unfair. I have now lived fulltime and working in Jersey as a trans female since November 2010 and have had no problems to date. My police ex colleagues have more than embraced the change; my martial arts students still love studying under me and I serve customers every day in my shop without a problem. Jersey is more accepting than you think. There would have been differing views for you as you did not start full transition in Jersey. This isn't a criticism just a statement of fact that if you exist as if you belong as a woman in the island people will treat you with respect. I suppose everyone's experiences are different.

    • Yea I can see it as a little unfair now but like I said, 3 years ago I had a completely different perspective on life. My friends from home have been amazingly accepting and the couple of times I have been back have both been relatively trouble free. Perception is everything, I guess…

  3. Yea I can see it as a little unfair now but like I said, 3 years ago I had a completely different perspective on life. My friends from home have been amazingly accepting and the couple of times I have been back have both been relatively trouble free. Perception is everything, I guess…

  4. Sarah Savage – the difference also being that when you went out to clubs as Sarah, people who didn't know you were often viewing you as a tv and not a ts. Had you transitioned in Jersey you would no doubt have been treated differently by the general population rather than insulted by a few dumb ar*eholes with a few drinks inside them.

  5. Wonderful news about the book, what a fantastic idea! Will definitely chip in when you launch your campaign πŸ™‚

  6. Wonderful news about the book, what a fantastic idea! Will definitely chip in when you launch your campaign πŸ™‚

  7. Hi Sarah. My journey is different from yours, but I have spent many an hour on Google Street View looking at my old haunts from my delivery job – I can totally relate from that aspect! I really do hope that you will be able to go back happily to Jersey one day. I will be sure to help you and Fox with the book printing, it sounds like than a more than worthy cause πŸ™‚

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