My Own Transsexual Summer

This summer has been the most extraordinary time of my life. Back in June I was at the bottom of a deep, black hole. I was sleeping in my car and friends sofas, living my life on autopilot. There was no hope. If I didn’t try and change something I don’t think I would have been able to muster up the will to live for much longer. I knew that my only hope was to confront that problem. The one that had bugged me since I was small. The problem that I had put so much effort into running from. I’m not male, I’m female
I’d also been in contact with someone from Twenty/Twenty about a documentary they were making for a few weeks, just some phone calls, I didn’t think anything would come of it but told them that I was about to start living full time as female and they seemed keen to meet me. I remember that boat journey from Jersey well. The feeling I had having a smoke looking out from the back of the boat watching my island home disappear was one of desperation, my last chance to feel good about myself. If this didn’t succeed I didn’t know what would happen. As I arrived in Weymouth I knew there would be a camera man waiting and I was still dressed in my male clothes… Sitting in my car waiting to disembark I hurriedly put on a bra, false boobs and my wig. This was day one. This was the beginning of my life.
I wanted to be part of this documentary because I knew I needed all the help I could get. I decided early on that if I was asked to take part I had to do it properly. I had watched lots of trans related TV shows in the past and some of them had really touched me, even reduced male me to tears and I wanted to be a part of something that had that effect on others. I wanted to show other trans men and women that if I could make this work then so can they.
Looking at how I am now compared to those first few days I feel like a completely different person. Being part of My Transsexual Summer has changed my life forever. It has been, far and away, the most positive experience of my life. I will forever be grateful for being asked to be a part of it. The people I met have become like family to me and it was a privilege to share such an amazing time in my life with them. The personal journey I had was just amazing and I have not only the trans people to thank but the production crew too. Some of the lessons I learnt will stay with me and benefit me for the rest of my life.
The response from people who have watched it has blown me away, I’ve had literally thousands of mails and tweets offering support and gratitude. I think it’s amazing that people I’ve never met have taken time out of their day to find me and send me lovely things, I totally didn’t expect that.
I’m going to stop gushing now, I need to figure out what to do next, how to use this experience to continue to help others and myself.
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29 thoughts on “My Own Transsexual Summer

  1. I think getting away from Jersey for a start was the best first step to take. I found it a very judgemental place and am far happier myself since I left 3 years ago.
    Have really enjoyed watching you on C4 and hope that you have a happy future ahead of you.
    H x

  2. If I had to describe you in one way i'd say you are Awesome!! Keep smiling! Love MTS and all of you on it! seriously wish i had you guys as friends! your all way much cooler than the friends i have now! lol

  3. Hey, I was just wondering about you today, so I'm glad you posted!

    I'm sorry that the show is drawing to a close, as I would love to have followed everybody further on into their respective journeys. It's been wonderful getting to know everybody and I'm glad that I get to read more about you in the future 🙂

    • year event or celebration. Some are even starting to prepare for their Halloween parties by hunting Halloween coupon codes, sales, discounts and bargains. Some are even starting to collect those good old pumpkin carving patterns and

    • Die Gewässer der Havel zwischen Tegel, Henningsdorf und Spandau kenne ich sehr gut. Schließlich lagen wir mit dem Motorboot “Esperanto” einige Jahre im Motoryachtclub Tegel und haben dabei den Berliner Meistertitel geholt.Mehr dazu in Wikipedia ()Auch der neue Liegeplatz am Zernsee (neben der Villa von Karl Vanselow) ist sehr schön.Eine Fahrt mit einem Ausflugsdampfer kann mich deshalb nicht reizen.

  4. Saw on your Vlog that you are thinking of writing a Book Good Luck, you have a very easy and readable way of writing so I hope you go ahead with this Project and I and many others will look very much forward to reading it.
    It's wonderful to see how you have blossomed and I can only wish you the very best for your future.

  5. Sarah, I have so much enjoyed “Transexual Summer”, and will be saddened for it to end on Tuesday. Every one of you have been such an inspiration to me. I wish you all the best in your journey forward, and promise to keep in touch on twitter and reading your wonderful blogs x.

  6. Sarah all I can say is well done. Really going to miss the show when it closes tonight, but all of you are so inspirational… You've helped me re-examine myself and I'm now happy to conclude I'm just me. No label. Neither M or F. Guess I'm just a greedy girrll huh? Can't wait 4 ur next post!
    Loadsa love xXx

  7. You are such an inspiration. Your attitude to life is amazing, you are so brave. I honestly don't think I could go through what you have and come out smiling as broadly as you are! Looks like you have made some really great friends on MTS, which you definitely deserve – loved you all on that show and wish I had friends as amazing as you. Your story really moved me, so I thought I would post this to show that you have support out there! I'm not a transsexual, but you really inspired me, as I now know that we all have the right to be who we want to be. Good luck for the future. Your beautiful..KEEP SMILING!

    PS. Love the new wig!

  8. You all seem like such lovely people, and your story had a big impact on me. You are such a strong person and a real inspiration. I hope you have the amazing future you deserve. I would love to have you as a friend and I'm sure your friends know how lucky they are to know you! Oh and you're smile and laugh is so nice, so keep smiling, it suits you!
    All the best for the future, I follow you on twitter so you'll have to keep us updated!
    Zoe xxx

  9. It has been great taking part in your journeys even if we only got to follow you all for just 4 episodes.

    You've all been an inspiration to other transgender people, which we will always be thankful for.

    At least I have you all on Twitter and YouTube so I can keep following you!

    XOXO
    Veronica

  10. Your story is both moving and inspirational and from someone who was in a situation very similar to that of your own, I hope whatever you have planned for the future works extremely well. You deserve it

  11. You reminded me so much (more than any of the other people on the show) of my child 10 years ago. She was also suicidal, walking around with head down, absolutely at the bottom of a pit before grs. She is now a successful woman with a good job and a loving relationship. I want you to know that this is possible, that you will get there I am sure. Your confidence grew in the few short weeks of the programme, and the real Sarah began to emerge. My family split over my daughter, it's sad that people are still so ignorant, and I hope that at least some of your family may come round in time. Meanwhile hugs from all your friends and supporters will have to do.(((( ))))

  12. Sarah I absolutely loved watching you – even though it made me feel sad a lot of the time that you have had to suffer so much. But now you have such an exciting journey ahead of you and I have no doubt you'll come out the other side so happy and content. I will enjoy following you in that journey and am SO hoping for a follow up series! Take the very best care of you and remember that you are loved.

  13. Hi Sarah
    If you need somewhere quiet for a holiday just let me know I am a hetro woman with a spare bedroom if you ever need it in Scotland!! xx

  14. You're such an inspiration! It was hard watching how difficult you found your transition at the start of the show but to see you smiling and realising you have your own little MTS family was lovely!
    Good luck and always stay true to yourself.:)
    Get channel four to do a new series too and the new wig looks fabulous! 🙂
    Much love, Louise x

  15. Hi Sarah, I have absolutely loved watching you guys on MTS, you are all incredible and im so glad your happy. I wish you wonderful and loving future. Steph x

  16. Hi Sarah, I just watched the last episode of MTS on 4od. Out of all the people on the show I found your story the most moving one, and I was so glad to see you were so much happier and more comfortable in your own skin in the last episode.

    Your new wig and eyebrows are so pretty, I think you're going through the phase most women go through in their late teens and early twenties where they figure out what they like and what works for them! I know it's easier for women whose bodies match their gender identity from birth, but please know that ALL women have bad hair days and bad face days sometimes, and don't ever let that get you down too much 😉

    I truly hope you have happiness and find good things in your everyday life. If I ever happen to bump into you I'll say hi (with a smile) 🙂

    Much love, Hanna

  17. Good luck for the future hope that you and the rest of the shows participants get what they want in life good luck to you all

  18. I was so moved by your story, I cried absolute buckets watching you on MTS purely because of the level of raw emotion and conviction you spoke with. I wanted so badly for everything to work out for you and seeing the way you were transformed over the course of the show actually inspired me so much. And I don't mean externally I mean how you came out of the programme so much happier and stronger, it was beautiful to see. You are a truely incredible woman and I'm sure you have given hope to so many people who are in a place where there doesn't seem to be any. From the bottom of my heart I wish you all the best of luck for the future, you deserve the best that life can give you <3

  19. I watched MTS last year when I was in a bad place with accepting that I trans and it did help me to see light at the end of thentunnel, since then I have started hormones 6 days ago and things are moving in the right direction, like u I live in a narrow minded town so I’m lookin to move away in next couple months.
    Would just like to say a personal thanks to you and rest of MTS for showing us that there is a future and happiness being trans , thanks for being an inspiration

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